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Sadly, I am not the sister accredited to the quote Amanda cites in this blog. But I do believe I should receive honorable mention for keeping that quote alive. Nonetheless, I love each of the stories Amanda shares in this blog that so accurately embody what one sister or other other said years ago. I am left thinking of all the tiny compartments that make up this bigger, good life...
- Christina
Read MoreMy brain went into a red alert after reading the first sentence of this piece. It seemed to contradict an idea I hold dear from The Alchemist, "don't take anything personally". And how can I not take anything personally AND care about something at the same time? But my perceived paradox is neatly resolved when I change my scope — don't sweat the small stuff, and care deeply about the big stuff.
Thanks for this piece, Sasha! I dug reading more about the values your company champions.
- Corey
Read MoreIn a breakout room last week, Richard Sugarman asked some great questions around what may be the indicators of trust being evident and connection to be felt between people. It had me thinking more about how one might start to build the foundation for this. I immediately thought about the importance of expressing curiosity for others through asking questions, particularly meaningful ones as Rich had just done, as these can truly serve as bridges amongst individuals from all different backgrounds. Jaime's writing below inspires me to think more about the beauty of learning about others and their interests and beliefs, with both friends and strangers. And how doing so can expand not only my perspective but my empathy for others.
- Amanda
Read MoreNEW lead-in from Alex Tulloch:
Whenever someone asks about ReShawn or Sedric or Floyd or Cedric or Calvin, I always introduce them the same way: as my brothers. And every time I say that, the response I usually get is "Well, not your brother brother." That's always confused me, because while we're not biologically related, we're certainly connected in a way that I could primarily describe as brotherly. So Irwin's piece helped me add another word to describe the connection that we share; a sensation that I've grown to feel amongst our CFC, a family family (whatever that means).
Read MoreI recently picked up an old software project that had been collecting a bit of dust. It was something I worked on with a friend a couple months back, and we had a lot of fun making it. But life things crept in and took focus for both of us, so we got it to a good place where the project could be left in “storage” for a while, its future features’ by-when dates set to the nebulous “TBD”.
And then last week, I decided it was time to give our project the nice coat of paint we always wanted it to have. I checked out our prototype, decided on the feature to fix, and a feature to add. Keep it simple to start. My brain reached for the next step…
…but nothing appeared.
Read MoreZoom is here to stay, an integral part of our work lives and work culture.
I’m a big fan for lots of reasons: gone are the days of faceless phone calls, and our work norms have finally shifted, making it professionally acceptable to ditch the logistics of unnecessary travel for in-person meetings.
Read MoreIt's easy to feel obsessed with convenience and quickness.
Doing things faster. More efficient.
There's a desire for the quick high of the left lane
We grow the “most food for the most people”.
And I know I can buy anything from anywhere and have it tomorrow.
But what if going slow was sexy?
Read MoreAs someone who spends a good deal of time in technology, it’s always hard for me to gauge when something “big” has really arrived. I’ve come to depend on my lovely wife as that signal. We have a daily ritual where we end our work days, and a bottle of wine (or Tequila depending) comes out. And if she opens the cocktail hour like a comedian (“So, what’s the deal with this thing”), I know that the thing is starting to get some buzz. Well, like many I’m finding, she’s equally frightened, fascinated, and filled with wonder with what’s going on in AI right now.
Read MoreAt the moment, I’m able to decide my schedule each day. Of course, there are a couple important nodes that MUST be attended to at certain times. But what I’ve become present to is something I had only dreamed about years before — distinct pockets of blank open time.
As soon as I started to realize this space existed, thoughts of should-be-doing filled my mind. Every role I hold for myself or others worked to make its obligations heard, arguing for its tasks to be attended to. And why not pick one and do it? And then another, and another? There was available time, and the thought of doing nothing filled me with fear.
Read MoreIt’s a gray cloudy day with patches of blue and white sky, southeast wind. Columbus Day – (Now Indigenous People’s Day) has come and gone – and almost like clockwork the weather is starting to change like the colors on the trees.
I had an interrupted night of sleep. The moon was blasting through the skylight and I drank too much water after eating salty cod, lobster, and crab. The moon-mad cat kept waking me up. The wheels in my head were rapidly turning after talking with a friend about building a new website.
A big part of my work at RESET — after years of racing from Wall Street to Silicon Alley to Madison Avenue, straight into a therapist’s office — centers on helping people bring peace into their lives and work.
But, for me, this past year—these past two months especially—has felt, at times, worlds away from peaceful.
And maybe that’s the nature of change—of loss and the labor of birthing something new—or the hardened habits that have me chasing happiness into every "next best thing"…
I’m not sure exactly, but this is one practice that keeps on saving me, when I’m present enough to remember it—to breathe myself back into my body and really recognize that, at this moment, “I have enough, I do enough, and I am enough.”
Read MoreI’ve written more than 1,200 posts on this blog over the last 14 years. It’s become part of my life, and I can’t help but inquire what the practice brings to me.
I wrote about this in 2009, with a list of 44 Reasons I Blog (my current favorite from that list is number 27, “I’m a little compulsive.” You don’t say….)
My addition to this list, a 45th reason, has to do with “fiddling.”
As in: here’s something that’s just a thought, let’s see how it comes out with a bit of attention and effort.
Read MoreI took a long walk this morning with my dogs to a state park near my house. The gravel trail winds in and out of trees adjacent to the hudson river. I've walked these very same steps in the past with many different loved ones who have come and gone. I’ve had picnics in the field with friends who have now moved away. I’ve done yoga near the weeping willow tree as my old dog who has since passed laid in the shade. On one of the benches facing the river, I shared a first date with someone who would later become my world. On another bench a bit further down, I wrote my dad's eulogy.
Read MoreAs I started to write this, Marine One carrying the President had just passed by my log-strewn beach as he surveyed the millions of dollars of damage caused by a succession of atmospheric rivers. In Santa Cruz County where I live, it is destruction of a biblical proportion: flooding, mudslides and destruction of piers, businesses and homes. Layers of toxic sludge now cover some of the most productive farmland in the country.
Read MoreTwo years ago, after attending a talk by Bryan Stevenson, the Founder of Equal Justice Initiative, (EJI), I raised my hand to become a penpal to one of their clients, a prisoner who had been tried and incarcerated as a youth. Part of EJI’s mission is to defend clients they believe were punished too harshly when they were sentenced as children under laws designed for adults.
About three weeks later I received my assignment to write with someone I’ll refer to as DL. DL is living a life sentence in a prison in South Dakota. He’s been there for 18 years, more than half of his life.
With his full name, I did a strange but probably predictable thing: I searched online for his case and read the whole public file on what happened, what he did, who was involved, and what his sentence is.
We’re not allowed to correspond about the case, so all of this was purely for my information. I had a feeling of needing to know. Out of security. Out of making sure I wasn’t in over my head.
Read MoreLately, I've been trying to become more comfortable with being alone. It’s something I’m not particularly good at nor fond of. I've been fortunate to have amazing friends, caring sisters, trusting roommates and incredible significant others to walk through life with for many seasons at a time. I've had the privilege of being in lines of work that have allowed me plenty of opportunity to work directly alongside others as a close team. I've always loved to feel the joy that is togetherness. Though there is so much value in experiencing that solidarity, I've also come to realize the importance of making time to be alone, too. And I don't just mean the literal part of being alone that is doing things without the presence of others. I mean truly finding the time and space to acknowledge introspective thoughts and find the connection with oneself on a deeper, soul-level. I've noticed lately how seldom I actually get to that place, as I am usually trying to "make the most" of my time throughout each of the days to the point that even if I am technically by myself, I don't feel it because I am still looking outward to my environment for some external escape or interest and attaching myself to that.
Read MoreMr Gross was my high school German teacher. He was big on learning language through song and would regularly point out a German word or phrase that might be more appropriate than American English. I wasn't a good student of the language, but he made an impact on me. I still remember and use some of his offerings. Today I saw one of my favorites used in the New York Times - the first time I've seen it used in America.
Read MoreRead More(PIP LEAD: Damar Hamlin asked “Did we win?” when he awoke. Many – including myself – cried even hearing him utter anything but could he have said anything more powerful? )
Who is the WE?
I love that question and can’t help but reflect.
Here are three WE's.
A year ago today I was averaging 1-3 hours of sleep a night. Every day was just about surviving. I had accidentally weaned baby E as I was intentionally weaning big E because tandem nursing amongst all the other things going on at the time had taken its toll on me. I was emotionally devastated & physically exhausted & so mentally blurred I never knew if I was doing the “right thing”. And it was so hard to see how it was ever going to get any better. I was probably in the midst of some postpartum hormonal distress & anxiety & depression & didn’t think of it that way. I was just hard on myself (and everyone). I never found consistent therapeutic support, which was probably necessary in hindsight. But I am grateful for friends & family & lactation consultants & coaches & yoga teachers and babysitters who little by little, piece by piece helped me take baby steps to get where I am today.
Read MoreI woke up this morning with a fever and a sore throat and the first thing I thought was not that I have Covid - I don’t- nor even how bad I felt. It was that I would not be able to be at our gathering today. I have literally been counting the days to physically see people I feel so much respect for and feel so connected to.
At some point today, Pip was going to have me riff on a Yiddish word he heard for the first time a week or so ago.
The word is “mish-puh-chah”…..(emphasis on that guttural “ch”!)
What was unsurprisingly synchronistic - given it was Pip- is that I have been wrestling for a good few months with how to define this group of people who come together under the Coburn sacred canopy.
And mishpucha is the perfect description!!!
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