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#177: February Anti Pet Peeves Collection

When people offer me a seat on the subway, especially when my backpack is heavy and I have an hour commute. - Sandra Diaz

My watch tells me the sunrise and sunset every day, and it makes me SO HAPPY to see the time the sun sets get a little later each day - I’m not the biggest fan of short winter days! -Lauren Culbertson

Getting gas the other day I had a really, REALLY friendly attendant. This gentleman was truly remarkable, such that I asked him if telling his manager how great he was would help in any way. He affirmed that it would be, so I did. I often encounter people who seem to be grudgingly doing their work in this world... I was really grateful to encounter someone who brought joy to his work. -Richard Uniacke

CommunityFebruary 28, 2020Community, Anti Pet PeevesComment

#176: Tithing Time

A long time ago (1996) my incredible coach of 20 years Ken Davidson said: “Do you think I have a thought of what you should do in this situation? I truly don’t.. I have enough trouble figuring out my own life to spend any time thinking about what others should do with theirs.” And I stopped my own habit of contemplating what others should do with their lives that day as well. Why do I mention this “anti-advising” idea? It is one of the core core design principles of the Community For Change and all the writing in this series that Amanda brings to life for us. I am anti-advising. I think there is so much relief from self-consciousness when we feel we are truly in a space of zero fear of judgment and spaces filled with advisement (solicited or unsolicited) I sense can so often cut off genius and learning and community way too instantly. Perhaps I will write on this topic in the future more widely just to share the weird thinking I have migrated toward on the “advising” topic.

Steve CrandallFebruary 26, 2020Steve CrandallComment

#175: The Fringes of Community

I work remotely a majority of the time, and last week I decided to do a free trial with KettleSpace, a group that partners with restaurants in New York that are only open for dinner, transforming them into a coworking space during the day. Anyone can try them out for free for 7 days, so I thought why not?

The location closest to my apartment is a pretty unassuming restaurant that shares a building with the Czech Consulate on 73rd street. When I arrived, I was pleased to find only about seven people spread out around the room, either working silently on their laptops or in small groups. A KettleSpace employee greeted me when I walked in, gave me a short tour, and then I sat down with a black coffee to get to work.

Lauren CulbertsonFebruary 19, 2020Lauren CulbertsonComment

#174: Ruminations on Ruminating

So – in my experience one of the more common challenges we have as leaders is to make decisions under pressure. Where should we focus our time? Where do we start with our new strategy? Will the other team think we are stepping on their toes with our new approach? Should we back off our ambitious goals?

We can become so focused on what the right decision is, we lose the ability to even make one.

We think rehashing problems in our head helps us figure out the answer. It almost never does.

Overthinking often rears its head as we plan out a complex change we have to make. Mapping out all the things to we need to create, stop creating, or modify usually involves more unknowns than knowns.

Robert RoseFebruary 14, 2020Rob RoseComment

#173: The Joy in Process

The best part about Ellie's playroom is that it is has a window she can walk up to that faces the woods. Every now and then, we get a close up view of deer. This morning she saw one, pointed and came running over to get a closer look. Then we just stood together and observed for awhile until she was done observing. She said "woof woof" and then went back to play. I really reveled in that experience.

Jaime PosaFebruary 12, 2020Jaime PosaComment

#172: Running for the Train

As everyone in my family knows, I have a persistent, daily, absurd issue with running for the train.

Each morning, to get to work, I walk a half mile from my house to the train station. At a relaxed pace, that walk takes 12 to 14. Walking briskly, you can do it in 10-12 minutes. Most mornings I do it in 8-9 minutes, and when things get bad, I sprint to the train in 6 minutes.

Mind you, this is all while fully dressed for work. And it’s not because I’ve overslept: I wake up at least 75 minutes before the train, and often I’ve been up for as much as two and a half hours (to exercise).

Sasha DichterFebruary 6, 2020Sasha DichterComment

#171: Ambition and Gratitude

I've become hyperaware recently of the voice in my head.. and I've happily gotten a bit better at managing it in a healthier way. But what I have seen that stays more stagnant is its tendency to quickly jump to a judgement after something even a bit discouraging has happened. I've noticed though that after some time has passed, and I am less tied to a negative emotion, my orientation is more objective and I can re-shape my mindset to become a place for greater motivation and resoluteness. Lauren's blog brings me back to this, sometimes challenging, practice of actively reframing perspective. Thank you Lauren.

-Amanda

Lauren CulbertsonFebruary 3, 2020Lauren CulbertsonComment

#170: Strong, Light, Flexible

One of my new year's resolutions is to be less hard on myself ... to laugh at the mistakes, to have more positive self-talk, to trust my own intuition more, and to simply stress less about my daily agendas. Because deep down I know it will all get done and that I am always trying my best - so why add so much anxiety and overthinking into the mix? Jaime's blog reminds me of the power of believing in myself and of being mindful of feelings, my energy, my needs, and my growth. AND, to not let a long cold winter freeze my ability to make, even seed-like, changes to my life ;) The growth will happen naturally when I begin first by getting more in touch with what I believe I really am. Thanks Jaime!

-Amanda

Jaime PosaJanuary 30, 2020Jaime PosaComment

#169: Mr. B

The only thing better than my internship this past year was the person who led it. It has been over a month now, and I still find myself unable to process the tragic and unexpected passing of Mr. B - a person with an extraordinary soul, who inspired me since the first day I saw his radiant smile.

The internship that I spontaneously decided to take on last semester was geared towards harnessing the therapeutic healing power of nature to support young adults with disabilities. My three co-interns and I planned an engaging activity at a different nature park once per week. The internship/program we were leading was titled Nature and Nurture and partnered with another incredible agency titled, “Life Transition Skills” (LTS). LTS has the “aim of developing and empowering youth & young adults with intellectual differences in achieving their full physical, emotional, intellectual, social, and spiritual potential, as individuals, and as independent, responsible citizens and members of their local communities” (LTS, 2017). The program is incredible because of its leader.

Amanda PosaJanuary 28, 2020Amanda PosaComment

#168: On Gratitude

Back in November, I had asked Maria to share one thing she was grateful for from the past year. She responded with a much deeper thought and shared some very personal experiences. I am excited to now share it with you all as well. Maria inspires me to be more self-reflective and to find greater peace from within, being conscious of my surroundings let not allowing them to disturb what's inside. I think this idea helps me be more present, aware, and even spiritual. Thank you for your authenticity and for your growth mindset Maria, as always!

- Amanda

Maria SouzaJanuary 21, 2020Maria SouzaComment

#167: Everyone Starts as a Stranger

One morning last week in the Black Cow, I had the thought that every single relationship I have in my life that I consider super important (which there are a LOT) started out as “stranger”.

Every single one started out there and somehow progressed.

Thankfully.

Yet… we systematically teach “stranger danger”.

This seems to be a super duper societal challenge if we wish for wide-scale empathy (which I do) as well as intimate friendships (which I do). If we want to create “bridges” in the world (which I do) we would be helped if we could eliminate “stranger” as opposed to “reinforcing” it.

“Stranger” seems to be the available on-ramp to all relationships.

Pip CoburnJanuary 17, 2020Pip CoburnComment

#166: Solutions, not Rules

Of all of the issues that must come up when serving women from all over the world who have been trafficked, survived sexual violence, and ended up finding respite at an organization called Restore NYC in the New York City area, surely fighting over food in the refrigerator was the least of the counselors’ problems. Hoping to move past this distraction and pay attention to the real work of recovery that the women needed, they got to work at resolving the issue. They intended to make sure everyone was heard. They would work to understand the root issue. Then, they would make the necessary changes, and move on.

Brynne ThompsonJanuary 14, 2020Brynne ThompsonComment

#165: What does it mean to believe?

I am aware that I struggle to truly believe things. While it may be easy to visualize what Christmas will look like for my family in ten years, it’s much harder for me to think through what a world without poverty, racism, or human trafficking would look like — even though I believe in movements working to eradicate these things.

But if you don’t believe in something you are fighting for, then what is keeping you going?

I really had to ask myself when I was in college and fell into a grassroots campaign to bring a level-one trauma center for the South Side of Chicago. It connected students, young and old South Siders, and faith leaders from across the city demanding that the University of Chicago play a role in funding, planning, and building a trauma center.

Lauren CulbertsonJanuary 9, 2020Lauren CulbertsonComment

#164: My Two CFC Goals + Coach Mayer

I have two goals this next twelve months for the Community for Change.

I want to share them because I sense if I share them, the odds of them happening may go way up.

But before that…I spoke with my high school basketball coach, Joe Mayer, yesterday.

Why would anyone still stay connected to their high school basketball coach decades after high school ended?

Kelly helped me figure it out a bit this morning.

Pip CoburnJanuary 6, 2020Pip CoburnComment

#163: Season’s Greetings and Anti Pet Peeving

Hello everyone! Around this time of year, I tend to reflect on the year behind me and the year ahead. And while it's inspiring to set intentions and resolutions for the new year, I think it's often just as important to bring myself back to the present moment and the little heartwarming occurrences that may often go unnoticed but can have a lasting joyful impact.

For anyone who isn't familiar, an anti pet peeve is the opposite of a pet peeve. So rather than zooming in on life's little annoyances/discomforts, anti pet peeves shed light on the tiny yet meaningful instances of pleasure and joy. Pip - Thanks for bringing this idea to life that helps to foster a more mindful, daily experience!

Below are the collections gathered for this month from a few different members in the CFC Community! We plan to create a list every other month with new contributors, so there is much more to come! Enjoy :)

- Amanda

CommunityDecember 23, 2019CommunityComment

#162: Grateful for Gratitude

It’s been a weird year out there. A key lesson that has helped me this year is to continually ask, “What “eyes” am I currently judging this situation with?” I won’t belabor all the versions here – but you’ll know what I mean if I just say that there are “child’s eyes” and “adult’s eyes,” “cynical eyes” and “the ego’s eyes” etc... Put simply, I’m compelled to ask what lens is coloring my judgement in any given situation.

Robert RoseDecember 17, 2019Rob RoseComment

#161: Terry Pearce

Every time I think of my dear friend and mentor, Hale, I feel warm.

He passed away about 8 years ago. We met in Maine. At the Wayfarer. He took me in.

When I learned of his passing I stopped.

I cried. I was so thankful beyond words that I have.

I knew there would be a lot to “process.” Maybe “process” first and foremost means “feel” as opposed to “think through.”

I don’t know.

Pip CoburnDecember 12, 2019Pip CoburnComment

#160: Primary and Secondary Purpose

At a recent celebration of a past teacher of mine, a keynote speaker told a story of a purpose.

A city dweller had purchased land on a whim in the countryside and had forged a connection with the farmer next door. After some time, the farmer, unable to care for the land alone, found himself preparing to move into an assisted living home. The city dweller purchased some of the farmer’s chairs and stopped by to pick them up. The farmer remarked that he was grateful that someone he knew and cared about was taking the chairs. Surprised by this, the city dweller inquired why - they were nice, solid chairs, but certainly not heirlooms pieces. What was it about the chairs?

Candice Jones PeelmanDecember 10, 2019Comment

#159: Moving Boulders

A little while ago, Larry Bissonette came to Cincinnati for a visit. Larry was the subject of a film “Wretches and Jabberers,” following some of his global travels. He is both autistic and use typing as a way of expressing his thoughts. In the first few scenes of the movie, he flaps his hands and paces around rooms and repeat phrases that seemed typically “autistic” to me. But soon though, be began typing, sharing profound, insightful and relevant thoughts.

At Starfire, Larry and his facilitator, Pascal, told the story of how Larry studied and practiced a sort of mindful, meditative focus that allows him to move his fingers enough to type out his thoughts.

Tim VogtDecember 3, 2019Comment

#158: CFC Gratitude Share Out

I am thankful for the idea than any stress in my life relates to quality of life and not the ability to live. And when I think about it like this, an imaginary pin pops an imaginary balloon and I sigh with the relief that I don’t have real stress in my life. Instead, I have a sense of urgency and a deep motivation to win and to help people grow and achieve their goals, which is fun. And then I realize that I get to just have fun doing what I love to do, and I’m so thankful! - Angie Dalton

I’m really grateful for my mother in law who takes care of our kids once a week, so that my wife and I can go out together for an evening. - Jags Walia

My daughter got pregnant this year and is due the last week in January! - Irwin Kula

CommunityNovember 30, 2019Comment