#375: SPOTLIGHT: Benji Dawes
Question for Benji:
Randy Pausch once wrote that “walls are put in front of us to see how badly we really want something.” Is there a project in life or work that came with (or comes with) many obstacles (i.e. “walls”) that revealed that your initial intention and excitement was not as strong as you thought it was ?
Benji's Response:
Given a choice, I opt out of setting goals and objectives. Now that I think about it, I'm asking myself why 'projects' and making plans tends to turn me off.
Perhaps I'm afraid of setting myself unattainable targets or raising my expectations around a particular outcome? Maybe it has to do with wanting to remind myself that I only have a limited part to play in the outcome of things.
I actually have a very recent example of something you might call a 'project' whose obstacles I failed to overcome. A friend told me about a running race he'd signed up for; a 105 kilometre "fell race" around Dartmoor, in south west England. Would I like to join him?
I've never run farther (in one go) than 50 kilometres. However, I felt inspired and drawn to take up the challenge with him. It's been a wet and windy autumn on Dartmoor, and I've been donning my (often rather soggy) running shoes more regularly than usual for the past couple of months. The farther I made it with the practicing, the better my understanding became about the immensity of the challenge of running up and down rain-soaked moorland in winter for more than a hundred kms. With the birth of our son Oren at the beginning of November, I realised I couldn't do it.
Instead, Oren, Esme and I were out on the course on Saturday morning, cheering on Julian as he took a five minute break to gobble down some questionable looking grey spaghetti from a tupperware.
Amanda’s thought…
I suspect Benji would love all direct responses from you. I find it incredibly encouraging when I hear from any of you after I share my thoughts. It is powerful for me. I assume many others have a similar experience. So here is Benji's email… pip
Benji, when you ask the question, "Would I like to join him?", I thought of an idea my sister Jaime shared with me when it comes to decision-making. I was contemplating attending a plan made last week and asked myself, "Do I really want to go?" So she advised me to pause, picture myself actually doing it, and envision whether it looks or feels like a closed window with a stifling feeling or an open one with a refreshing breeze coming through. Benji, your story has me thinking about this idea of using intuition more when it comes to making decisions or goals, rather than focusing too much on expectations or outcomes. Thank you for sharing. Sending love to your beautiful little family!
- AP
