#306: Work and Identity
I think perspective is everything, especially while going through a period of transition. I remember during each of my college winter breaks, I generally kept busy with preparing for the upcoming spring semester, while also catching up with friends every chance I got. And not that anything was wrong with doing that. But one break I decided to act more "selfishly" and focus on myself in order to get more in touch, specifically, with my spirituality. And for four weeks, I spent more time in solitude than I ever had before. And I am so grateful to this day that I didn't do what I thought I "should" do while on break to "make the most" of my time, because it became such a necessary step to strengthen my spiritual growth and to free my mind and therefore be able to be more present with others. And Corey's blog reminds me of the importance of leaning into intuition and experiences that will be rejuvenating.
- Amanda
Work and Identity
I was recently let go from my job. It brought up a lot of things for me. The usual, concerns about finances and healthcare, and also a few things out of the ordinary. I wouldn’t have thought losing a job would mean losing part of my identity, but it certainly feels that way.
I’ve been working on the same project for nearly 8 years. In that time, I’ve: had 2 kids, moved 3 times, visited 10 countries, and had COVID 2 times. Through it all, I’ve had the consistency of working on one single thing, one single company. I guess when I write it out, I understand why it feels so strange to not be doing it anymore — it’s been one of the few constants in my life through a lot of change.
The first week was tough; lots of short-term loop-closings and planning. And, as usual, reflexively checking both of my email addresses and texts in case… oh wait, I don’t do that job any more. And opening Slack first thi… nope, no need. It took conscious effort to stop myself from doing these things, and I felt something akin to physical pain when I denied myself the impulse.
The second week was tougher; more psychological and spiritual. Who am I without my work, again? What was it I thought I was here to do in this lifetime? Nevermind the big question lots of people ask but I can’t answer — what do I WANT to do? As I continued to let go of outmoded need-to-dos, I was astonished and bewildered by the new space available in my mind, and the weight I felt lifting from my shoulders.
I’ve heard it said that habits take 2 weeks to form. So what do I call things I’ve done for 416 weeks? Master Yoda’s words come to mind: “you must unlearn what you have learned”.
A friend of mine counseled me to “be selfish right now”. While I’m not opposed to being selfish (in the newly redefined, empowering sense), I think I’ve spent such a long time thinking of what’s best for my group of employees, my family, that to do otherwise feels strange. I am what I am because of the selflessness of others. My parents, family, teachers, and coaches weren’t all doing it out of self-interest. It’s my view they believed they were contributing to the improvement of the whole. Maybe it’s more a way of saying “concentrate your energy on yourself for a while”; a recognition of me having spread my attention among others for so long.
I’m certain I’ll find the next right thing to do for work. But perhaps I’m here, having this experience, as a necessary step that I would have skipped otherwise. I’m healing my brain, reintegrating with my spirit, and rediscovering my path.