#198: Doing Nothing

I love this little reflection from my sister. It’s amazing how the brain can become wired to be so task-oriented. But I do believe that, like Jaime, I can be more thoughtful and intentional with how I choose to use my energy... because energy can really be contagious. And I can decide what kind of effect it has depending on the stance I take and the mindset I choose to operate from. These notions also remind me of Rob's blog sent out last week about incorporating time to solely play and get creative, and how that can rejuvenate the mind and soul. Very timely to share these interesting thoughts and personal practices given the current state of the world.

I hope you all enjoy!

- Amanda

Doing Nothing

I did my first live Zoom yoga class this morning. Lately, I’ve just been squeezing in small self-practices when I can, or doing a pre-recorded class, but I was craving some social connection, so I decided to seek out a live online class at the studio I used to go to. 

After nearly every single yoga class, I always am amazed by the changes I notice in my mind and body. It almost surprises me every time, too. Like, I’ve been practicing for 10 years, how is each time still so new and profound? But, that’s what it is like when working and exploring your own mind and body from a space of curiosity, letting go and conscious breathing: there’s never-ending stuff to discover. 

So, this morning, I was winding down my practice with the online teacher. The movements were getting slower and less demanding and my breath was returning to it’s natural rhythm. As my “yoga world” was becoming quieter, the noises surrounding me started becoming louder. My mind “turned back on” in an instant. I was realizing it was nearly 8:30am…almost time for my baby’s morning nap…my step-daughter’s online classes were about to begin and, shouldn’t she already be getting her computer setup? 

The reactive and controlling side of my brain was getting ready to dive in head first to “fix” these “issues”.

Just so you know, all that was happening in about a 20 second window.

And then I caught myself.

I caught my mind, to be more precise. 

I brought my awareness back to my body, which was now in savasana (corpse pose/final relaxation). In corpse pose, the idea is that you do nothing. Many teachers say that this is actually the most challenging yoga pose of all. And you might see why. How could I do nothing when there was so much that needed to be done in this moment!

So, I took a deep breath in, noticing how my lower belly rose up, and then I let it all go: the breath and my attachment to what my outer world “should” look like right now. In 5 seconds of breathing, I released that 20 seconds of angst that was about to hijack the rest of my morning.

In my regular day-to-day, it’s not always as easy to quickly catch the reactive side of my brain, especially during this trying time. That’s why a daily practice of yoga is so important to me. I truly reveled in the last few minutes of my final relaxation. And then I slowly rolled to my side and pushed myself to sit up. As I always do to “close” my practice, I bowed my head to my heart: always the best reminder to listen with your heart first.

I said to myself, “I will center myself and calmly find my baby and transition her into her nap routine. She will be able to relax better once I am relaxed again.” 

I said to myself, “Okay. Maybe my step daughter is going to be a few minutes late to her class. She was very helpful this morning entertaining her sister while I took some time to myself. Her bond with her sister is probably more important than those first few minutes at the computer. Next time, we will plan better. This time it’s okay.” 

When there is something that triggers me, my tendency is to quickly hop into the driver’s seat and grab the wheel tightly and forcefully to get us back on course. Sometimes, I even miss the fact that perhaps my husband or step-child had a different idea of where to go and maybe, (but just maybe) MY idea of where to go wasn’t the only “right place” worth going. Laying in my yoga pose, it was such a gift for me to notice that I have a choice when there’s a trigger. It was really cool to just notice the chaos of the outside world for a minute and then simultaneously step outside myself for a second and see myself relaxed and doing nothing about it. It was powerful watching myself choose to lay and do nothing until I was ready and more prepared to do something from a more centered place. I don’t have to react right away. I can breath and listen…hopefully to my body and heart and not my racing mind…and choose to respond in a much more meaningful, gentle, powerful and effective way.