#207: Thank You to Mike Hawley
It’s hard to write a lead-in that could do justice to this piece. 2020 has shown me simultaneously how fragile and unpredictable life can be...but how also we don’t have to be strong every day. We just have to be brave. Mike seems to have embodied this - bravery looks like creating social change, slowly, one relationship at a time. The world lost this friend too soon. Thank you for your reflections, Pip - we have much to take away from this.
- Lauren
Thank You to Mike Hawley
“They won’t remember what you said or what you did but they will remember how they felt in your presence.”
…Maya Angelou
In 2003, I was walking south down Park Avenue side-by-side with my friend Mike Hawley.
He was on my right.
Always buoyant. Always buoyant.
He was super super fun to be around.
It was a sunny day. Probably about 4pm.
I am going to give a tad more background before my “Thank You.” You will see why. Mike was no ordinary man. And yet his game-changing advice for me was so so basic.
His one sentence alone has significantly impacted my life. More just ahead.
Mike is one of the kindest and most deeply caring people I have ever ever ever met. I am lucky to have ever met him. He also adopted Kelly into his world instantly.
And Mike was off the charts brilliant and talented. Mike had accomplished so much in technology at a crazy early age. He was chosen to study directly under Marvin Minsky, who many consider the father of artificial intelligence at the MIT Media Lab, which Mike would in a few years run. On the “side,” Mike had won the hollowed Van Cliburn piano competition. He had also won the Duncan yo-yo competition!
You would never know Mike’s level of accomplishment unless someone else told you. He was unassuming. He was not impressed by his accomplishments. Not even a single smidge.
On this day, he was heading to a reception near Grand Central Station that seems to tap into a whole additional part of Mike!
Mike was also an incredible photographer. He had a love for children and a love for education.
Inputting these three things together, he had led the creation of 214 schools in rural Cambodia and then spent time in Bhutan. I apologize if you have trouble keeping up!!!
So in Bhutan, to start a process of creating schools he toured the country with two kids and their families gaining access to virtually anything so he could photograph through the eyes of these two wonderful children. And then he took these amazing pictures and created the world’s largest book ever! A massive photo book called “Bhutan.” He sold these at $10k to raise money for schools. I have the coffee table version on my coffee table right now! It reminds me of goodness and wholeness.
OK…
So there we were, walking down the street.
At the reception, the two children from Bhutan and their families would be present at the unveiling of this 5’x7’ book weighing 150 pounds that would mark the start of more school building.
I turned to Michael as he was, naturally, buoyantly walking and I said….
“It must feel amazing to think of this incredible vision of building schools all through Cambodia and now Bhutan and have it all brought together…”
Without missing a stride – perhaps I was now as buoyant as Mike through the power of ambient encouragement – he turned and said…
“It’s always just one relationship at a time.”
Mike didn’t have a pre-crafted vision. My underlying assumption was wrong, and he certainly did not take this accomplishment “personally."
He didn’t have a specific vision for any of it.
His only vision it seems was to steward a better world and show up always ready to do so.
He just kept showing up buoyantly present, ready to enjoy the company of others and…with a huge heart and caring and belief that amazing things were always just moments away from being created.
I often say “more ahead!” as well as “one day at a time!” often with a glimpse of Mike Hawley buoyancy. I suspect that one sentence from Mike stimulated these expressions.
“It’s always just one relationship at a time.”
I am not sure I have ever met someone so ready to make a new friend at a moment’s notice. So kind. So fun.
I may write more public thank you’s like this one. I have so much I feel thankful for. Mike passed away two weeks ago. I regret not figuring out how to spend more time in his presence. I wanted to share a small slice of how he lived and how he so generously passed on his life to others continually including one sentence that was planted into my soul 15 years ago and will be with me forever.
Thank You Mike,
Pip
P.S. Mike ended the note he wrote to me in my signed copy of “Bhutan” with the expression: “Tashi Delek!” I am including a video link from the Dalia Lama that includes his explanation of this expression and a request to try to live up to what it means. I think Mike did exactly that.
“May you be happy in the here and now and may you finally achieve definite goodness…”