#228: My Self Portrait

In reading Muayyad’s reflection on performance I’m reminded of the Boy Scout oath I would repeat at pack and troop meetings so long ago. It was something we learned by rote, fully memorized, and would repeat as part of the ritual of every gathering. Although most of us (myself included) did it as a perfunctory performance, I do believe hearing and saying them so frequently did wire us to hold ourselves to a higher standard. I’ve been in performance reviews where there were clear KPIs to hit, and it was a clear PASS/FAIL. What I like so much about Muayyad’s self portrait is his idea that what I’m good and bad at is a DYNAMIC thing, it’s situational, and NOT a linear progression. When I was younger, maxims sometimes seemed trite, but the longer I spend in this existence, the more I think they better encompass the fullness of the human expression.

- Corey

My Self Portrait 

Every year during performance reviews or interviews, we get asked and ask others questions like this “what are the areas of improvement?”, “what are the strengths and weaknesses?” As if it is a predictive exercise that may foretell what I am good or suck at.

As a human, I recognize that I am not complete, and the areas of improvement are far more numerous than there are strengths. However, I think I should be able to dynamically assess the strengths and weaknesses as the situation arises - identify it and work on it or seek help to fill the void. 

On my drive home, I was thinking of what my portrait might look like or things I aspire to instead of attempting to answer these questions. 

Here is a list of my aspirations, (what might be viewed as string of cliches):

  • I stand by my values and try to communicate their importance and relevance.

  • I choose the harder right over the easier wrong.

  • When I am in learning mode and curious and passionate about a challenge or task, I can work intensely and energetically. Always start with a clean sheet of paper and assume nothing. Continuous learning.

  • I enjoy taking things on that others might be afraid of or see as too difficult.

  • I set limits and find alternatives when a current approach is not working.

  • I don’t assume that I am right, I Identify shortcomings and work diligently to fix them. In most cases, I reach out to others with more experience.

  • I attempt to empower and give credit to others most of the time. Yes, sometimes ego stands in the way, but I try to overcome the urge for self congratulation. 

  • I don’t let minor disappointments in people or work linger. 

  • I am accepting and open to differences. People have different lenses they see through. 

  • And finally, I am always grateful for what may come.

"Be like the sun for grace and mercy. Be like the night to cover others' faults. Be like running water for generosity. Be like death for rage and anger. Be like the Earth for modesty. Appear as you are. Be as you appear." Rumi