Last year, Elana invited me to be a guest monologist for "The Armando Diaz Experience" (link), an improv show at the Magnet Theater in NYC. In this show, the monologist takes a suggestion from the audience and/or shares true stories from their life. These stories are then brought to life by a cast of improv performers. One show has three acts and it happens every Saturday evening.
Read MoreI had collected anti pet-peeves for the month of February, asking some community members to share a single anti-pet peeve of theirs. However, I am discovering a common occurrence when I ask people to share their anti pet-peeve: Once they start with one, it's hard to stop!
Below is the list that Matthias graciously came up with and shared. What a great way to start a new month! Enjoy!
Read MoreA few months or more ago, I began greatly reducing the amount of times I help Ellie. Can’t reach something up on a shelf? Oh well. Getting frustrated when her ball rolls under the table, just out of reach. Ugh, bummer. Trips and falls? Even drops her head and whimpers a little? I get a little closer, offer some words or perhaps a rub on the back if it seemed to frighten her, but for the most part, I’m working on giving up “saving her” from her own problems.
Read MoreI'm writing this from Amsterdam, the Netherlands, where the schools have been closed for at least three weeks and almost everyone is working from home. Only the most vital functions in society are still fully operational: people in healthcare, educators, law enforcement, fire brigades, government, etc. I'm sure most of you across the globe are experiencing something similar or will soon. We can still go outside on the streets here and when you do, you see a new kind of society. I see parents with their kids playing, educating, and shopping. The rat race has come to a full stop. Everyone nods at each other in mutual understanding. I wondered: can you imagine when society stays like this, what it would feel like? Of course, we have to beat that virus (it's horrible, no question about that), but can you imagine a society in which the truly important functions are really valued for what they do? Can you imagine a society in which the rest of us are just taking a step back and have come to terms with 'less'?
Read MoreA few years ago, in Park City, Utah, near the completion of a two-day gathering we call Road Makers, Rob Rose said that it was so nice and valuable to have a space he could show up not as a superhero—which is often required at business gatherings—but, instead, as his alter ego Clark Kent.
Way back in the 1990s, a family friend switched jobs.
Read MoreIn preparation for writing about the Community for Change and Instagram, Pip asked me to think about perhaps my own first Instagram post. I remember it very clearly, actually. It was back in 2012 when my older, cooler cousin told me about this app called Instagram where you could post photos. I downloaded it, and my first photo was of bouquets of sunflowers I had hung upside down with twine – with a very heavy, color-saturated filter, of course.
Read MoreI am highlighting April Tam Smith’s note below on PS Kitchen…
For context…
I remember back in 2009 as some extremely large companies were bailed out the phrase “too big to fail” became popularized… and quickly demonized. People HATE that phrase.
I think NOW we are quickly understanding too small to fail.
I have no idea what the actual numbers are, but everyone I know knows people who will have no work and people whose small businesses may face real survival issues.
I am highlighting this note from our dear friend April.
Read MoreA week ago, I felt ahead of the coronavirus curve. Our town had closed schools as of the prior Sunday night, so our kids were already at home. Our community had started social distancing and I was already staying home from work. Meanwhile, the rest of the country, and most of the rest of the world, was going about business as usual.
What a difference a week makes.
If last week my community was living through a first, early wave, this week everyone everywhere got hit head-on with a mammoth second wave, and it’s knocked us off our feet.
Read MoreI feel blessed to be a part of this community. In thinking about the serious challenges and uncertainty we face a few things have come to mind that Pip invited me to share.
Read MoreEarlier today, I replied to a message from Melissa, who, as usual, wrote me a kind note of friendship and encouragement. I told her that lately, our Zoom sessions and dinners about community made me connect even more with a passage in a recently published book about the biology and evolution of friendship (Isn’t it great? Friendship has a fundamental biological aspect to it, and it goes beyond human physiology! I am totally hooked on this book!).
Read MoreLike many, I’ve found my week and life disrupted by the Coronavirus.
First, over the weekend we decided to keep our 60 Decibels New York team working from home for the start of this week, since two of our team members live in Westchester County (which has been leading the nation in total number of Coronavirus cases). Then I learned late on Sunday night that our school district was closing until March 18th.
Read MoreThe CFC Writer’s Circle has perhaps inadvertently become a place to share the wisdom of loved ones who have passed away. I have really enjoyed hearing about Pip and the Posa sisters' respective fathers, Pip’s coach, as well as Amanda’s former boss in Florida. I am sure there have been others too. I lost a friend a year ago very unexpectedly, and as we come up to the one-year anniversary of her passing, I have been wanting to put into words some of the things she taught me.
Read MoreWhen people offer me a seat on the subway, especially when my backpack is heavy and I have an hour commute. - Sandra Diaz
My watch tells me the sunrise and sunset every day, and it makes me SO HAPPY to see the time the sun sets get a little later each day - I’m not the biggest fan of short winter days! -Lauren Culbertson
Getting gas the other day I had a really, REALLY friendly attendant. This gentleman was truly remarkable, such that I asked him if telling his manager how great he was would help in any way. He affirmed that it would be, so I did. I often encounter people who seem to be grudgingly doing their work in this world... I was really grateful to encounter someone who brought joy to his work. -Richard Uniacke
Read MoreA long time ago (1996) my incredible coach of 20 years Ken Davidson said: “Do you think I have a thought of what you should do in this situation? I truly don’t.. I have enough trouble figuring out my own life to spend any time thinking about what others should do with theirs.” And I stopped my own habit of contemplating what others should do with their lives that day as well. Why do I mention this “anti-advising” idea? It is one of the core core design principles of the Community For Change and all the writing in this series that Amanda brings to life for us. I am anti-advising. I think there is so much relief from self-consciousness when we feel we are truly in a space of zero fear of judgment and spaces filled with advisement (solicited or unsolicited) I sense can so often cut off genius and learning and community way too instantly. Perhaps I will write on this topic in the future more widely just to share the weird thinking I have migrated toward on the “advising” topic.
Read MoreI work remotely a majority of the time, and last week I decided to do a free trial with KettleSpace, a group that partners with restaurants in New York that are only open for dinner, transforming them into a coworking space during the day. Anyone can try them out for free for 7 days, so I thought why not?
The location closest to my apartment is a pretty unassuming restaurant that shares a building with the Czech Consulate on 73rd street. When I arrived, I was pleased to find only about seven people spread out around the room, either working silently on their laptops or in small groups. A KettleSpace employee greeted me when I walked in, gave me a short tour, and then I sat down with a black coffee to get to work.
Read MoreSo – in my experience one of the more common challenges we have as leaders is to make decisions under pressure. Where should we focus our time? Where do we start with our new strategy? Will the other team think we are stepping on their toes with our new approach? Should we back off our ambitious goals?
We can become so focused on what the right decision is, we lose the ability to even make one.
We think rehashing problems in our head helps us figure out the answer. It almost never does.
Overthinking often rears its head as we plan out a complex change we have to make. Mapping out all the things to we need to create, stop creating, or modify usually involves more unknowns than knowns.
Read MoreThe best part about Ellie's playroom is that it is has a window she can walk up to that faces the woods. Every now and then, we get a close up view of deer. This morning she saw one, pointed and came running over to get a closer look. Then we just stood together and observed for awhile until she was done observing. She said "woof woof" and then went back to play. I really reveled in that experience.
Read MoreAs everyone in my family knows, I have a persistent, daily, absurd issue with running for the train.
Each morning, to get to work, I walk a half mile from my house to the train station. At a relaxed pace, that walk takes 12 to 14. Walking briskly, you can do it in 10-12 minutes. Most mornings I do it in 8-9 minutes, and when things get bad, I sprint to the train in 6 minutes.
Mind you, this is all while fully dressed for work. And it’s not because I’ve overslept: I wake up at least 75 minutes before the train, and often I’ve been up for as much as two and a half hours (to exercise).
Read MoreI've become hyperaware recently of the voice in my head.. and I've happily gotten a bit better at managing it in a healthier way. But what I have seen that stays more stagnant is its tendency to quickly jump to a judgement after something even a bit discouraging has happened. I've noticed though that after some time has passed, and I am less tied to a negative emotion, my orientation is more objective and I can re-shape my mindset to become a place for greater motivation and resoluteness. Lauren's blog brings me back to this, sometimes challenging, practice of actively reframing perspective. Thank you Lauren.
-Amanda
Read MoreOne of my new year's resolutions is to be less hard on myself ... to laugh at the mistakes, to have more positive self-talk, to trust my own intuition more, and to simply stress less about my daily agendas. Because deep down I know it will all get done and that I am always trying my best - so why add so much anxiety and overthinking into the mix? Jaime's blog reminds me of the power of believing in myself and of being mindful of feelings, my energy, my needs, and my growth. AND, to not let a long cold winter freeze my ability to make, even seed-like, changes to my life ;) The growth will happen naturally when I begin first by getting more in touch with what I believe I really am. Thanks Jaime!
-Amanda
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