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In 2006 during an investment meeting, when asked about a certain portfolio position Helen said she felt “comfortable” with the position size we held in stock XYZ.
This is typical investment world lingo: “comfortable”.
On that day though for whatever reason, I heard something that seemed “off.”
So on the spot, I told the group we were outlawing feelings.
Read MoreThis past Monday started as a typical one — backpack heavy and coffee hot. I left for class right on time, descended the flight of steps from my apartment, and stepped into the parking lot. To my joyful surprise, there was this little dog there. So of course, my immediate reaction was to call to the scraggly little pooch. And immediately he trotted over to me and let me pet him. His wiry hair felt really coarse and he honestly smelt like he had just been in the dumpster across the street.
Read MoreI just started my masters in International Development last week and other than almost getting hit by a few cars flying in a direction I am not used to, secretly Googling very specific questions about Brexit under a few dinner tables, and deeply missing New York, it’s been going great!
Read MoreAlmost six years ago, Pip and I sat in a building in lower Manhattan right after Hurricane Sandy.
We were there in our deserted office to host a meeting with two leaders from an ambitious three year old non-profit taking on a very dark problem.
I had reached out them because I was an analyst at an investment firm that studies change for a living, and one way we do our work is to study all types of change so we learn to identify patterns.
When Jimmy Lee and Dave Hung, Restore’s executive director and Board chairman, walked in we found thought partners who were hungry for serving this mission with excellence and strategic power.
Read MoreWhen he reached the New World, Cortez burned his ships. As a result his men were well motivated. Captain Ramius: The Hunt for Red October
“More options are better than fewer options.” My kids have heard me say that time after time. As a general rule, this statement is mostly true — but not always. Sometimes more options are far worse than fewer options. Sometimes there's great power in knowing only ONE option exists. Cortez grasped this truth, as did Captain Ramius. They used it as motivation to succeed.
Read MoreSo, sixteen years ago, Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld famously said, “…there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say that there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”
While I think we can all agree that Rumsfeld’s language was a bit clumsy, I’ve come to find out he was actually capturing a fairly well-known analysis technique called the Johari window. Put very simply there are four things that are challenges:
Read MoreI remember it right after September 11th, 2001.
I remember it during the financial crisis of 2008-2009.
I remember it here in New York after Hurricane Sandy amidst the widespread ongoing power outages.
What I remember is that people were… really nice and caring with one another.
I remember people in our town of Pleasantville actively lending their generators to others in town who were still without power. Board games by candle light. We sorta hoped the power would never return.
It felt like… we were in it together.
Read MoreThe past six months or so, I’ve been working with a client on the preparation for an immersive session with their global leadership team. They would like to change some behaviors of their team to become more adaptive to change. In their traditionally risk-averse environment, one of the key things they want to work on is dealing with failure. Up until now, failure is not an option in this organization. There is a fear of failure that is almost coded in their DNA. So the question arises: how do you change this attitude and create a culture that accepts failure as an opportunity to grow?
Read MoreA few weeks ago, my sisters and I spontaneously decided to hop on the NYC ferry to Rockaway Beach. It was our very first time on the ferry (some real New Yorkers we are!). After the beach and some very authentic New York deli sandwiches for dinner, we were a little sleepy. So we were a bit disgruntled when we got back to the ferry as the line to board wrapped around multiple blocks.
Read MoreOn the days I’m really sleep deprived everything seems impossible. White space is useless. My patience is low. I overreact.
And if I’m having a week or weeks with something that is physically wrong–an illness or an injury–my “impossible” stories get amplified. Especially in the case of illness, “What if I feel this way forever?” is a crushing thought that can spiral.
And then, if I’m lucky, I get better. Enough sleep or adjustment or medication or healing makes an ailment go away. My new “now” is replenished with possibility.
Read MoreLast year, 2017, in spring time, this little yellow finch used to come up to our bedroom window early every morning and tap on it. He never flew directly into it, he would just hover in front of it and tap. Of course, I quickly fell in love with him and wholeheartedly believed he wanted to be my friend. I was concerned he’d crash into the window one day and hurt himself and I was curious about what was making him do this, so I started googling and visited the local bird store in town.
Read MoreI tell people movies make me cry all the time, but in reality only three movies actually make me cry:
1. Les Miserables (as everyone at Restore unfortunately found out one day)
2. Beginners (my all-time favorite movie)
3. Big Fish
Rowers talk about how, when the whole crew is in sync, the boat somehow lifts a few inches out of the water and magically seems to glide.
That moment is the payoff from the accumulated effort of years of training, focus and discipline, the prerequisites to that moment of synchronicity.
This can happen in our day-to-day as well. We put in analytical, emotional and financial effort to make something work just right, but still it’s not quite there yet.
Read MoreJaime Posa feels so so deeply.
Jaime Posa has a capacity to let me know myself… much better
Jaime creates a space with her first words that allows me to check in and quit rushing… to slow slow slow…
…down
…and then I decidedly settle in…
Read MoreI wouldn’t consider myself an angry or aggressive or confrontational person. I don’t think any one would. But it’s interesting to think that some of the best changes or accomplishments took place in my life only after the presence of extreme anger. And there’s one incident in my life that stands out most, where a boiling internal anger led me to one of the biggest changes I had wanted to make for years and years, and which inspired a domino effect for many more.
Read MoreIn the movie The Matrix, there’s a famous scene where Neo meets The Oracle. As he walks into her apartment, he sees a young boy bending a spoon with his mind. He’s fascinated. As he bends down and takes the spoon, the boy offers some advice:
“Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.”
Read MoreMy daughter is working her way through a summer book of math and reading. She got to the end and found this Summer Brainiac Certificate on the last page. She was ecstatic.
Read MoreI met up with someone last week who wanted to talk in the context of personal growth.
He described himself as an introvert.
After 75 minutes, I think he was reconsidering if that was so.
Have you ever been in an introduction circle?
Read MoreI don’t have a lot in common with my brother. I am a novelist and an at-large advertising creative director. He’s a stonemason and a recently retired New York City Firefighter. He’s a tall, physically imposing man and I am…not. When we discuss our professions his stories are invariably more interesting and rarely does a common theme emerge between us. However, near the end of his time on the FDNY he told me a story that, while radically different than anything I encountered in advertising, was surprisingly, finally, relatable.
Read MoreTHIS INTENTIONALLY RUNS THROUGH the email below and the link is key to the video.
At times I have some non-typical thoughts. Yesterday a dear friend prefaced some words to me with “If you were a normal person I would have been surprised, but I know you aren’t normal.”
I am not.
I have some big ideas that are core to me that seem a tad out of place in most places.
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